Have you ever loved someone? Have you ever had the feeling of missing them? I have and I'm going through this experience in my life right now.
I recently got divorced after I found out my ex-wife was cheating on me and having illicit affairs. It's been one of the hardest and most painful experience of my life. Sometimes I would not wish for anyone to go through. What has been harder though is seeing the kids post-divorce.
That's where the above question comes in - I love my kids dearly, they are my life and soul. They have been my life and soul ever since they came into my life. I have lived my life with Krsna in the center and taking decisions with the kid's welfare always in mind. With the divorce, suddenly, my time with the kids has been cut in half. I feel I have been robbed of my time with my kids, whom I dearly love, in half. It's very cruel, especially the days when I have to drop the kids off at their mom's house. I miss them dearly and wish I could have them with me so I could be part of their every moment growing up. I've had many emotional moments alone thinking about them and missing them.
Material life is such - it's not a place of happiness. There is always pain and suffering in the world. Padam padam vipadam - at every step there is suffering. I have come to realize that. Through this painful experience of life, I feel materially exhausted and I feel very grateful to my Lord. Lord Sri Krsna.
I feel this is Krsna's plan to help me realize:
- Everything in this world is temporary.
- The relationships I have are not permanent.
- The kids for example are sometimes with me and sometimes not with me.
- This has given me a glimpse of love in separation. My love for them has increased more and more due to this separation.
- The separation also has taught me the importance of time.
- The time I spend with them is precious, and I must make use of every moment with them.
- Help them develop into big strong boys with Krsna in the center of their lives. As Krsna is the source of all happiness.